It’s hard to believe it’s the end of another year.  Time seems to be speeding up as I get older.  My boys are growing like weeds.   Sometimes I want to beg them to slow down a little.  This has been a tough year for our family.  There have been a lot of changes happening,  and I’m not one that gets excited about change.   One thing I’ve learned about change though it that it pushes us out of our comfort zones.  It’s easy to get almost complacent if nothing ever changes.  Things can even get a little stagnant without change.  There is no room for growth without change.  And so sometimes I think God thrusts a little change on us whether we like it or not.  This has definitely been a year of growth for me, and with growth comes growing pains.  Anytime true growth happens, I think there is a certain amount of loss involved.  Growth means movement and going forward, but to do that, you have to say good-bye to the things you leave behind, and that is hard.  It’s a very interesting mix of grieving for what we leave behind and hope for what is ahead. 

Throughout this last year of change, God has really opened my eyes to what I want to do with the rest of my life as far as vocation goes.  I decided to go back to school to get my Masters Degree in Counseling.  I am very excited about this and the way that it has come to fruition.  As part of that long-term plan, I started back to school to finish my bachelors degree.  I also started a new full-time job back in September working at a counseling office.  I love the job and the people I work with.  These are both very good things that have happened in the last year, but even so, I find myself grieving for some of the things that have had to change to make room for these new things.   Now that I am working full-time and going to school, I can’t go volunteer at the boy’s school whenever I want to.  I’m not readily available to drop the boys off at school or pick then up almost everyday like I used to.  I am not available to babysit for friends during the day like I used to, or go meet them for Bible Study and fellowship on a weekly basis like we used to.  I sometimes feel like I am going to give myself whiplash by the constant looking back and forth between how things were and how things will be.  I guess that’s when I have to just be in the present and practice being grateful for where I am right now.  It also gives me the opportunity to be so grateful that I had a number of years when the boys were little to be home with them without having to work, and for the chance to build strong relationships with my girlfriends that won’t end just because I don’t see them as much.  It takes a little more coordinating and scheduling now…something that is not my strong suit, but it makes the times when I can pick the boys up from school that much sweeter, or when I can get together with friends that much more special.  The boys are older now, and seeing me working and going to school can be a good opportunity for them to see me being responsible and for them to learn to be more responsible too.  

I love Truth Bomb Mom, Kristina Kuzmic.  She posted this great video about embracing the new year and choosing to look for something good every single day.  She suggests every night, writing down one good thing that happened during the day you just lived.  My own spin as 2018 is upon us it to write down one thing I am grateful for every day.  This is not a new idea, but why re-invent the wheel?  Choosing to embrace and seek after gratitude and activiely finding the good can only bring more gratitude and good.  So here’s to 2018.  I hope you will join me in seeking gratitude and good!

Yesterday

(Imagine Dragons)

Here’s to my future
Here’s to my yesterday
Here’s to change
Oh, here’s to my yesterday
No tomorrow without a yesterday
Here’s to my future
Goodbye to yesterday

All these years I’ve been searching
For who I’m supposed to be
All this time I’ve been wasting
‘Cause I was right in front of me

Oh, it’s a crooked old tradition
By a masterful magician
But in all this trouble I’ve met
I haven’t got one single regret, no

Here’s to my future
Here’s to my yesterday
Here’s to change
Oh, here’s to my yesterday
No tomorrow without a yesterday
Here’s to my future
Goodbye to yesterday
Yesterday

Oh, I’m a hopeless crash collision
‘Cause I’m a hostage to my pride
And by my own volition
I’ve been a saint, I’ve been the truth, I’ve been the lie

Oh, it’s a crooked old tradition
By a masterful magician
But in all this trouble I’ve met
I haven’t got one single regret, no

Here’s to my future
Here’s to my yesterday
Here’s to change
Oh, here’s to my yesterday
No tomorrow without a yesterday
Here’s to my future
Goodbye to yesterday
Yesterday

A new day you can go, you can do
Anything you wanna
It’s your play, swing low, go high
Anywhere you wanna
You can reach for the moon
Anywhere your dreams could take you
Go astray, fade away
Just leave it to yesterday

Here’s to my future
Here’s to my yesterday
Here’s to change
Oh, here’s to my yesterday
No tomorrow without a yesterday
Here’s to my future
Goodbye to yesterday
Yesterday